Is your child always in trouble? Does he or she find it hard to ‘fit in?’
Article re-printed with kind permission of Vitality Matters Magazine
“My daughter is very bright, but she doesn’t have any friends.
“My son has been excluded from school - again.”
“I’m at my wits end.”
Does this sound like you?
When children or adults are perceived as being anti-social or odd, they are often isolated or bullied, and become desperately unhappy, and, in some cases, suicidal.
Families often experience high levels of stress trying to cope, and finding an appropriate support service can be an ongoing battle.
The causes, which can include autism and Asperger Syndrome, are not easy to diagnose.
So what happens?
Feeling powerless and of no worth always leads to extreme frustration, and this can result in a range of seemingly unrelated behaviours.
If you interpret rules and laws literally, you can land yourself in a lot of trouble. If you are gullible, or don’t know when to stop, if you are passive, or insolent, these too can have serious consequences.
If you rely almost entirely on verbal interaction and have difficulty ‘reading’ situations and people, you might not pick up those social cues that will prevent you from ‘overstepping the mark’.
Being resistant to change can create extreme anxiety when faced with the unexpected. Being logical, and lacking in empathy, can make someone appear inconsiderate, over-bearing, or uncaring.
This may not be true, but how would you know?
Most of us learn about empathy and social rules in our early stages of development and we tend to take this for granted, which means that meeting people who function differently is something of a surprise, and leaves us feeling perplexed, slightly uncomfortable and even afraid.
Behavioural Issues:
Eric said: ‘Don’t be stupid!’ so George punched him.
George was suspended from school for a week – this is his third school in two years. George’s uncontrollable behaviour is making him a social outcast.
Aaron has been brought home by the Police 6 times in the last year, he has driven a car without a licence, broken windows, got falling-down drunk, and has tried to kill himself. Aaron is 17 years old.
Asperger Syndrome:
‘John doesn’t wash, he says he doesn’t see the need’ (parent)
John has a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and is in a part-time residential placement. Despite having freedom, most of John’s decisions are made for him, therefore, he exerts whatever control he can, ie deciding when he will wash.
David: ‘I want to have my own flat, I want to earn a living’.
David is bright and a bit of a linguist, but his Asperger personality means that social rules are difficult for him. He can’t fathom why people won’t employ him, and why he can’t do the things he wants to.
‘Oscar wants to be independent. He does have lots of skills, but the assessments say he is unemployable….’ (Oscar’s Mum)
Many individuals wish to be independent, to earn a living and to have their own accommodation, but the chances of achieving these goals seem slim. There are also those who are ‘let go’ from their jobs because of their behaviours.
So what can you do?
Personal Empowerment Training (PET) is training for life. PET involves intensive work with you and your family, inspiring you to move towards your goals using strategies that are acceptable, appropriate, and manageable for all of you.
PET works in close collaboration with Mental Health teams, Social Services, Teachers/Trainers, as well as any independent Service Providers, to ensure that everyone is ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’. We also provide diagnosis and assessment for Asperger Syndrome.
Working with you in your home is much more comfortable and achieves amazing results in a very short space of time, which also makes the programmes cost effective. An all round approach of boosting morale, viewing all options, providing incentives, and making the steps achievable, can completely turn your life around, and that of your family too.
So what does PET involve?
Step 1: A home assessment, to identify your support needs - in your own surroundings, to avoid the stress of coming to an unfamiliar centre, and interacting with strangers – no matter how pleasant and accommodating they may be.
This keeps everyone as calm as possible. When people are less anxious they present a clearer picture of their life styles and the difficulties they, and their families, experience.
Step 2: A combination of therapeutic and behavioural techniques are introduced. Functional Analysis identifies the purpose of unwanted behaviours; Clinical Hypnosis helps reach deeper levels of consciousness; Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; Psychoanalysis; Strategies for Coping, and behaviour shaping; all combine to boost self-esteem, re-frame negative beliefs, resolve undesirable behaviours and sustain motivation.
Step 3: We match skills, behaviour and desires to help you identify your aptitudes. We then investigate the available options, with a hefty dose of lateral thinking.
You create your own portfolio, listing your goals. Each goal is broken down into very small achievable steps, you tick off each step as it is completed, which gives you a record of all your achievements.
This acts as a positive reinforcement when morale dips, as well as a Personal/Professional Development Plan.)
Step 4: Support Programmes involving: identification of goals; time management; reframing (seeing things from a different angle); recognising and stopping perseverative behaviour (the cyclic tirades on one specific topic); as well as relaxation processes.
‘We’ve seen such a difference in him, his attitude has completely changed after just two days’ (Residential Service, Norfolk)
Personal Empowerment Training
Dr Dawn Heather DCHyp
Chartered Scientist
Tel: 01209 613 653
Mob: 07887 602 508
www.dawnheather.typepad.com
email: dawn@dawnheather.com
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